These are crazy!! I call them: Dumb As Brick Awards!?

Eighth Place





In Detroit , a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.





Seventh Place





A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran," accidentally jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.





Sixth Place





Buxton , NC : A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had


dug into the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach-goers said Daniel


Jones, 21, dug the hole for fun, for protection from the wind, and had


been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it


collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach, on


the outer banks, used their hands and shovels, trying to claw their way


to Jones, a resident of Woodbridge , VA , but could not reach him. It


took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him


while about 200 people looked on. Jones was pronounced dead at a


hospital.





Fifth Place





Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc , CA , as he fell face-first through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to keep his hands free) rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.





Fourth Place





Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in Selbyville, Del., as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.





As Ron White often says: " You can't fix stupid." These people prove


it is a terminal condition. As always, competition this year has been


keen.


Third Place








The following mind-boggling attempt at a crime spree in Washington ,


DC appeared to be the robber's first (and last), due to his lack of a


previous record of violence, and his terminally stupid choices:





1. His target was H%26amp;J Leather %26amp; Firearms; A gun shop specializing in handguns.


2. The shop was full of customers - firearms customers.


3. To enter the shop, the robber had to step around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door.


4. A uniformed officer was standing at the counter, having coffee before work.











Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up, and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, the police officer with a 9mm GLOCK 17, the clerk with a 50 DESERT EAGLE, assisted by several customers who also drew their guns, several of whom also drew and fired. The robber was pronounced dead by the paramedics. Scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt in the exchange of fire.





Someone should take some of these guys to the range.





HONORABLE MENTION


Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover township, NJ, and his wife Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter-stick of dynamite blew up in their car. While driving around at 2 AM, the bored couple lit the dynamite and tried to toss it out the window to see what would happen, but apparently failed to notice the window was closed.


RUNNER UP: TACOMA , WA .





Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay near by. One end of the cable was secured around Bingham's leg and the other end was tied to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy salt water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. "All I can say" said Bingham, is that God was watching out for me on that night. There's just no other explanation for it."


Bingham's foot was never located.





AND THE WINNER IS..........


Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed his constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally let it fly, and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop! Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him. "The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock and lay unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of him" said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. With no one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour before a watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves...





"**** happens."

These are crazy!! I call them: Dumb As Brick Awards!?
Great story, but I'm afraid the "winner" is actually an urban legend. There is no zoo in Paderborn, or any record of a zookeeper named Friedrich Riesfeldt.





As for the american ones, I can certainly believe those...
Reply:there will always be stupid people, to give the rest of us entertainment! haaaa
Reply:OMG LMFAO!
Reply:lol those are hysterical! i dont think the winner deserved to win though. because that was a freak accidents and not something stupid that he had done. he was just doing his job lol. a crappy job at that (pardon the pun)
Reply:OMG LMFAO!
Reply:Where do you find this stuff......lol
Reply:too long............
Reply:And so you see, THIS is why they put directions on the back of the POP-TARTS box
Reply:dang...well, maybe the zookeeper had it coming?...
Reply:lol, good 1!!
Reply:Okay
Reply:Wait, he had to SQUEEZE his head through an 18-inch grate? Dang, how wide was his head?!?!





And I was in the Outer Banks when that sand hole collapsed on that kid - I remember it vividly.





Zookeeper story is definitely an Urban Legend. Just confirmed it on Snopes.
Reply:funny


pretty funny